i hate admitting when i am wrong

but i was wrong. i made a post before about the man being not wonderful for me. just wonderful. i was wrong.

he is perfect for me and i was just too pigheaded to admit it to myself or to him. i want him back in the worst way, and let me just say i am never in a position such as this. ever. but i am. and for the first time in my life i have thrown all of my emotions ( you know, the ones i force down all of the time) on the table. i hope it isn't too late. i know i hurt him so badly.

i am stressed to a point almost unhealthy as i am afraid that the damage was to great. but i know my love is so strong. i pray that his is too. i pray for healing of our hearts and souls and building our relationship back to the beautiful place i know it can be and where it was.

i can barely write in fear of this not coming true. i can barely breathe until i know it will come true. things have changed, i know, but i think for the better i think we have both learned and grown and can enjoy each other without the stress of living together. i hope. i pray.

i feel like every sappy copeland song is about him, and american nightmare has got it all figured out.

i love him. i really do. so much, with my entire heart. i can't believe i let him go. i feel so utterly idiotic.

remember to breathe. remember to breathe. remember to breathe.

constantly reminding myself to not shut down my emotions, that he is worth being vulnerable for. he is worth being hurt over.

remember to breathe.