Monday, March 8, 2010

lip service.

I often wonder if people practice what they preach. Or if continual lip service is standard in society. I tend to believe that the latter is the truth, and it is a constant disappointment.

I wish that people were not such a perpetual let down, and at some point people will be who they say they are.

The old saying goes, however that "you can wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one fills up the fastest". My bets tend to be on the hand filled with shit, yet I am not willing to dive in to an exploratory research project of this matter.


I finished my graduate school application last week, I ought to be finding out in the next two weeks if I have been accepted. I truly hope so, as life, as I know it has gotten quite boring. I need my plate to be toppling over, as opposed to the usual status of being completely filled.

I really told myself that this year I would blog more often, however there has been a continued disconnect between my mind and my methods of expression. I miss my friends back home. I miss back home in general. To say I am homesick is an understatement, but in reality there is nothing for me there that isn't here besides my family, and soon enough they will be here as well.

I miss having friends that are so down for me that they will drop whatever they are doing and hang out with me. Most people have their own agendas, and their own crap. This I can respect. A lot of stuff I can't. I loathe how so many people call people friends that are not their friends. It seems so juvenile, I know, but hanging out with someone one day a month, or even four days a month, does not make that someone your friend. Plain and simple. There are people on this earth I can call at 3 am on a Wednesday that will pick up their phone. Those people are my friends, every one else falls into the acquaintance category. Perhaps this is harsh. Perhaps I don't give a shit how harsh that is, because reality is never an easy pill to swallow. There are people I trust until the end of time, and there are people who will smile in your face and turn around and talk shit. I find it bothersome that the majority of the acquaintances each and every one of us make are in alignment with the second group of people.

I think, that this all may sound rather negative. It isn't, I am usually quite a bright and sunny person, I have just grown up a lot, and have started to see people for what they are, not who they want to be. The rose colored glasses stopped working a couple of years ago, and the clarity by which I assess most things is startling.

If you would have asked me 5 years ago what I would have been when I grew up, I would have told you a civil rights attorney. Now I am headlong into the financial services sector, and loving it ( mostly). I see a lot of bullshit in my line of work, but I am fairly convinced that is just how the real world works.